Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What stops a train? A missile

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops