We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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