Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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-I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops