How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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