What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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This isn't funny.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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A bar walks into a man

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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