roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops