How do you make your house smell bad? fart

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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