Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down +1

person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +1

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops