boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops