How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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21

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops