Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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No

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops