Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops