An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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