How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a gay guy? kevin

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops