2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops