- Anti Joke

Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Why are pills white? Cause they work.

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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