Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who is Dank? A: Billal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops