What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Men's rights

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

* anti-punchline

Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. She didn't. She's still in the kitchen because I beat her if she's not cooking or cleaning.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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