After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops