What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops