Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Why don't men want to marry virgins? They are wary of women who are inexperienced and who they may be sexually incompatible with.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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