A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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