Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Anti - Jokes. com

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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Knock knock.

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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