Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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