what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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