Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

your sister has 1 boob thats funny

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock Knock" "Come in"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats green and lives in the water

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops