An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How would you rule?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

thumb_up thumb_down +12

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops