what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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school homewrok

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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