Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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why did the black guy die? cancer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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