I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Horse.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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