asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -12

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops