Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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A Christian walks into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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