What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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