What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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Knock knock.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops