What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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