what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Emily Walker.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops