How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

What do a Fascist and a Democrat both have in common? Involvement in politics.

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

your mama's so fat... that's it

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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