Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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i like turtles

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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