Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Knock knock Whos there You spelt who's incorrectly You spelt whos incorrectly who ...................

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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