Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops