why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

dyslexic's Untie

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops