why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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