Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops