What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

Y' can't spell rape without ape.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...