How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

Your adopted

Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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