knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops