Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Guest what in the butt

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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silver bullet?

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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Maths.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Happy Monday!

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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