Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops