What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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