Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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Tall asians

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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