Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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Lets Go Lakers!

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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a man with a serious lung diesease was brought into a hospital, through continuous care they were not able to save him and he died the following morning.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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woman's rights

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops