There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops