dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops