What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops