Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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what's worse than 10 dead babies in one trash can? 1 baby in ten trash cans

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Sarah Palin.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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