A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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George W. Bush

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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