How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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su algato es en fuego

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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