Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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Barack Obama.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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