what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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