Burp

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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